So we had a stall in the centre of Nottingham today and, as is often the case, the moment a police officer saw the red and black flag they were hovering round us like moths to a flame. They’ve obviously watched a few too many detective shows and had this weird good-cop-bad-cop thing going, or, in this case, chatty-cop-stern-cop.
Commenting on one of the posters we had for sale (see below) chatty-cop asked us if the police pictured were supposed to be them. “No, chatty-cop, your face was deemed unsuitable for public reproduction. Children might get nightmares. Instead we went for faceless avatars representing any police officer, it’s called a metaphor.”
Chatty-cop: “Who’s this at the top then? And who’s this below us?”
Us: “That’s the ruling class you are defending, and that’s the working class you do a brilliant job of repressing at any sign of class-consciousness.”
Stern-cop: *Looks stern*
Chatty-cop: “Wheres the queen in this picture then? Shouldn’t she be up the top somewhere?”
Us: “Oh, so you are aware of some of your function in society then? We decided that as capitalism is a global issue it would be best not to signify the monarchy in this, and not give the impression that Britain is alone in the problem.”
Chatty-cop: “Ahh yeah, well I was into all that protest stuff when I was younger, you’ll get over it.”
Us: “Thanks for being so condescending and outright ignoring the other people with us who are your age.”
Stern-cop: *Looks sterner*
Chatty-cop: “I don’t even really believe in recycling anymore, it all just ends up in third-world land fills right?”
Us: *Looking confused*
Chatty-cop: “He does though,” pointing to Stern-cop, “he keeps chickens.”
Chatty-cop: “You’ve filled in too much of this poster, there should be more white on it for colouring in. You should be able to colour our jackets in luminous yellow.”
Us: “Wait, isn’t half of this poster white? And aren’t the jackets mostly white? Would you like us to bring some crayons for you next time?”
Keep your eyes peeled for the upcoming Anarchist Federation Educational Colouring Book for Police Officers.